Sister Annunciata Kavinya Kisuva

MY DESIRE WAS STRONGER THAN SATISFACTION

I am the fourth born in a family of twelve. I grew up amongst eight girls and three boys and my parents. We lived as a community in my family through working together, sharing together and doing everything together. We even laughed together because some of my sisters have a good sense of humor.

Throughout my life, I had a desire that kept burning inside. To begin with, when I was in Standard Seven, there was an inner voice that kept telling me that I will serve God in religious life, but I did not pay attention to it. Since I was baptized, I felt attracted to involve myself in church life such as reciting poems, especially on Christmas Eve, singing and other church activities.

The high school that I attended was sponsored by Protestants, and the Protestants seemed stronger than the Catholics. This did not present a great challenge because my faith was fully alive and strong. Most of the time we had service in our school by Sisters from a congregation I did not know. However I was not drawn very close to them even though I was silently discerning the will of God for me.

In our school, we received vocational newsletters each term from the Daughters of St. Paul. I found these letters very helpful because they contained challenges regarding religious life, living my faith and other social issues. I read them with interest.

During high school I participated fully in the Young Christian Society, but my desire to enter religious life was not shared with anyone. Male friends were looking for companionship, and I faced many proposals for marriage. All this attention, in time, felt empty and I still needed something else for me to feel fulfilled.

When I completed my Form Four, I spent the following year, that is, 2001, at home with my mother still doing personal discernment on religious life. At home I helped my mother with house-hold chores and the same year, I attended a Final Profession of Vows of an Ursuline Sister at my home church. I followed the ceremony with great interest. At the end I was feeling something I could not explain, and I felt I owed much to God. I went home with that feeling and took time to think and pray.

The following two years did not afford enough time for me to make a decision so I decided to change my environment, perhaps I could change those feelings of wanting to? be a religious. I stayed for two years with my brother and sister in Nairobi, and there I experienced life in the city. I was faithful to prayer and did not want to miss Mass on Sundays. This is what helped me to stand my ground during the challenges I faced in town-life. Although my brother and sister provided for all my material needs, there were internal needs, longings; the Final Profession of that Sister seemed to haunt me. I was not settled, and I decided to go back home and reveal to my parents my desires of joining religious life because my personal discernment had come to a halt. I had a strong desire not to make a decision for three years, but the moment I began my journey with Sister Francesca Kearns, Vocational Directress for the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word, I began to relax.

Fortunately, Sr. Fran supplied me with spiritual materials and I did my best to follow what they said to me. These readings seem to satisfy what was lacking in me. Throughout my formation period in Postulancy and Novitiate, I realized my desire all along was and continues to be to follow the Incarnate Word to whom I owe much. I have been able to go back to my past experiences and ponder where and how God was present in my life and I did not notice at the time. I can partially compare my encounter with Christ with the Proverbial Jonah because despite different circumstances, I tried to remain faithful; the Lord guided me according to His plan. My years in formation have been years of learning many things about Christ and his body. My story reached its climax in the celebration on December 8, 2007, when I continued to say yes to God through my First Profession of Vows. It is my prayer that I will live the three vows faithfully and follow the Incarnate Word to the end despite the challenges I have to face in my life as a religious. Praised be the Incarnate Word!

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